Tis the season

Tis the time of year when most of us just wish our brains could go to mush. There's always too much to think about, worry about, concern ourselves about. So, how about a mindless, likley way off the mark quiz? We found this one today for your enjoyment -
Find out whether you're naughty or nice with these 10 questions
by Heather Camlot (canadianliving.com)

You're caring and compassionate, you like to have fun, you've even been known to shower a gift or two on your spouse. While all those things might make you a good person and a great catch, it doesn't necessarily mean you're a good partner -- especially if you're the only one in the relationship having fun, or you only offer gifts after a big, unresolved argument. What does it take to be a good partner? Try our quiz to find out.

1. You and your spouse argue over (enter topic here) and don't resolve it before bedtime. You:
a) Say good night, even though you're still upset
b) Sleep in another room
c) Stew and don't get any sleep
d) Wait until your partner is almost asleep and bring up the argument again

What you should do:
a) Say good night, even though you're still upset
That advice your mom gave on your wedding day still rings true -- don't go to bed angry. Anger eats a person up, no doubt, and when it festers, discussing the initial problem becomes harder. You don't have to resolve the issue right away -- you can sleep on it -- but you do have to let your partner know that you still love him or her.

2. You train with your partner for a marathon. He qualifies, you don't. You:
a) Wallow in self-pity
b) Ask him to wait until you both qualify
c) Cheer him on
d) Sabotage his efforts

What you should do:
c) Cheer him on
Guess what? Marriage isn't a contest. Sure, you may sometimes be a bit jealous of your partner's success, and you shouldn't deny your feelings, but you also have to remember that your partner's drive is probably what attracted you to him or her to begin with. "There is no trophy for bettering your partner," writes David Niven, author of The 100 Simple Secrets of Great Relationships. "The real prize goes to those who refuse to compete with their partner. That prize is contentment and a more satisfying relationship."

3. You are most like:
a) Lorelai with Christopher on Gilmore Girls: What you say goes
b) Laura with Rob on The Dick Van Dyke Show: You talk things out
c) Archie with Edith on All in the Family: You're right, everyone else is wrong
d) Marie with Frank on Everybody Loves Raymond: You're good, he's evil

Who's got it right?
b) Laura with Rob on The Dick Van Dyke Show: You talk things out.
Whatever happened to those loving TV couples? Whether art imitates life or life imitates art, one thing is clear -- Laura and Rob had an understanding and inspirational marriage. Why? Because whenever they had a disagreement, they sought a resolution and then laughed about it. They were never out to win, to be proven right or to be the "good" one. As psychotherapist David Richo writes in his book How To Be An Adult in Relationships, "We are not working individually for the ascendancy of our own positions. We work together for the health and happiness of the relationship."

4. After a disagreement, your partner feels:
a) Belittled
b) Disappointed
c) Respected
d) Stabbed in the back

Your partner should feel:
c) Respected
If you think back to all those disagreements, chances are it's not the topic you remember but how you felt afterward. If you want to maintain a loving, long-term relationship, you have to respect your partner's opinion. You don't have to agree with it, but you do have to listen and try to understand. Arguments come and go, but feelings last forever.

5. After a long day at work, you:
a) Work more at home
b) Go for drinks with colleagues
c) Hang with your kids, BlackBerry in hand
d) Recap your day and listen to that of your partner's

Partners that are good communicators usually:
d) Recap the day and listen to that of their partner's
A relationship requires two people. If one of those people is continually lonely because the other works long hours, goes out with friends more often than not or is physically present but mentally away, then there is no relationship, only two beings living in the same home. If you're causing your partner to feel alone, it's time to reexamine your relationship and the meaning of commitment.

6. When you get stressed you tend to:
a) Talk it out with your partner
b) Take it out on your partner
c) Go to the pub
d) Go for a run

You should try to:
a) Talk it out with your partner
Stress can be triggered by any number of issues. But you don't have to deal with it alone. Talking to your partner should be your first tactic -- he or she may have a solution you haven't thought about or be able put the situation into perspective. If you can't speak to your partner, try some outside help. If you need some time alone, that's fine, too, as long as you're not running away from the problem -- and toward the bottle.

7. One of your kids has been throwing up at school and needs to be picked up. You:
a) Call your partner so he or she can take the sick day from work
b) Call your mom -- again
c) Call a taxi to pick up your child
d) Remember that it's your turn to deal with emergencies and head to the school

The fair thing to do is:
d) Remember that it's your turn to deal with emergencies and head to the school
"One of the most common sources of conflict in a marriage is that both partners assume that a given task will be done by the other person," writes Greg Baer, author of Real Love in Marriage. "When that expectation isn't filled, disappointment and irritation inevitably follow." Both partners must be equally committed to a relationship -- and that includes picking up the kids, preparing meals and folding the laundry. Figure out a schedule and a division of labour that suits you both.

8. You've both been working crazy hours and finally have a chance to spend some time together. You:
a) Watch TV while your partner reads a book -- in the same room, of course
b) Tag along with whatever your partner wants to do
c) Hit the movie theatre to catch the movie you've both been dying to see
d) Clean the house -- together

Next time, try to:
c) Hit the movie theatre to catch the movie you've both been dying to see
As mentioned, spending time together fosters a positive relationship. Now, the question is, what do you do during that together time? Something that interests you both. "It is so important that people look for, or develop, common interests in their relationships," writes Niven. "Common interests encourage positive communication and fun, and they strengthen the sense of connection between partners."

9. A strong relationship needs:
a) Friends to turn to for advice
b) A sense of humour
c) A fairy-tale model
d) A stiff drink

Which of these should top your list?
b) A sense of humour
Of course you value your friends' advice, but remember that the advice is based on their experiences, not yours. Fairy tales may have some value in the search for love, but they don't tend to show you what happens after the guy and the girl hook up -- you know, how to deal with those 2 a.m. feedings, who's going to take out the garbage and, most importantly, what to do when you feel the relationship is crumbling. And drinking, well, you know heavy alcohol consumption reduces the chances of maintaining a healthy relationship. But a little bit of humour goes a long way in diffusing tense situations and brightening an otherwise dreary day.

10. Your relationship's theme song could be:
a) Black Eyed Peas -- "Shut up"
b) Elton John -- "Saturday night's all right for fighting"
c) Evanescence -- "Call me when you're sober"
d) Nat King Cole -- "Our love is here to stay"

So what's the best pick for a couple in love?
d) Nat King Cole's "Our love is here to stay"
Roman poet Virgil knew what he was talking about: Love really does conquer all!

I'm not sure what it is about the Christmas season that brings out both the worst and best in people. On one hand I know that the stress associated with this 'giving' season stretches folks both financially and emotionally - but so much more goes unexplained.

Here is one that I have been exposed to, simply because of what we do here at Hot Cherry Review (and our other assorted ventures) - the stress on couples. For whatever reason, almost complete strangers feel comfortable in voicing their concerns and lamenting the existence of their relationships with us. Others perhaps just take that licence - in either case, I am never offended or put off.

One would think that this time of year would bring couples closer, this is not always the case - or so I have been told. Apart from the very understandable stresses put on individual parties of the coupled relationship - parents/family visiting, needing to add to an already burdened schedule, the cost of the holidays financially, the desire to please, the want to have the season's trappings equal or exceed the previous year's and finally the desire to look one's best (skinny, pulled together, perfect hair and clothes) - it is understandable how individuals can feel frenzied.

Wait there is more. With the holiday season comes business functions, office parties, client lunches - opportunities to network at a more relaxed level. An opportunity to see 'work related' contacts in a whole different light.

So you say, though these items surely can play havoc on the individual, how do they effect the couple? Here's a scenario for you: Both members of the coupled relationship attend a 'work related function'. The night previous they were at each other's throat for what normally would be day to day chores, but instead of a quiet discussion on who was going to pick up the kids the next night, they had a full blown fight on their hands. They went to bed feeling used, disrespected, un-cared for. The next morning they get up, do the rush till you drop and then run out of the door, hop in their cars and speed off to work. On the way he spills coffee down his white shirt, she snags her nylon - all dealt with on a normal day, but today isn't normal is it. Noon rolls around, each of them are out of their offices running errands, shopping, feeling out of control. 4pm comes around and they are off to their festive work gathering - time to unwind, forget about home, kids and spouse - they deserve this time to themselves, with people who 'understand them'.

This is where the damage begins. The very handsome, smiling 'guy' from the office down the hall seems to be paying attention to 'her' a bit more tonight - he's mentioned how great she looks, he loves how she is wearing her hair, and 'is that a new dress?'. Wow, that's a complement she thinks... about something her partner didn't even notice. Meanwhile across town, the same thing (though with the cute red head from the administrator's office) is happening - he is feeling younger, in shape, essentially like he did when he and his wife met.....

Both feeling unloved, unregarded, unappreciated at home, they leap at the chance to feel better, feel sexy, feel desirable. Now, we're not saying that this is a bad thing, everyone needs to feel this way, without question. What we are saying is that it doesn't have to be this way.

Recently a chap told me that he was at ends with his wife on a bunch of fronts - no affections, all routine, so much stress, no sex, what did I think he should do about it. First I congratulated him on taking responsibility - even though it was clear that he hadn't and didn't think he owned that right - 'you've clearly realized that there is a breakdown in your relationship, now you just need to work on making it better' said I. Once again, not the answer he wanted. The words out of his mouth next were interesting - 'but you don't get it, I want sex, she doesn't, it's not my problem, it's hers'. Ah no big boy - it is 'both of your problems'.

At this point I have to give it to this guy, instead of walking away, he stood and took what I had to give. So I explained. Unless he had done everything in his power to fortify the relationship, induce excitement, spontaneity and connection, he could not blame the lack of sizzle on his wife - he hadn't done his job either. His one last argument was 'well, others find me attractive, funny, kinda hot (left overs from the work party), but she's too busy with the kids, her job, running around getting ready for her Mom coming to town, to notice I even exist, what am I supposed to do, dance naked in the kitchen to get her to notice me?' And what did I say? 'Yeah that's what you do!' Get involved in your relationship, add the fun back in, dance naked in the kitchen and all the way to the bedroom.

Now the same can of course go for women who are feeling that their husbands just don't care. So many speak about their unfulfilled relationships at home, but so few want to take the steps or put the effort in to turn their lives in a whole new direction.

I know you just need to know.... do we dance naked in the kitchen? let me put it this way... if you don't call before you come up our driveway to give us a warning, we can't be responsible for what you might see :)

Have a wonderful Hot Cherry Day! Please take some time for yourself, for your partner through this really crazy time of year.

ho, ho, ho - I'm going out of my head!

I've discovered recently, cube farm living is not for me! Not even on the very short term. No, I'm not dissing the people who are forced to work in the environment - I'm dissing the environment itself!

I personally have not found a suitable solution to making this a creative and productive environment for myself. I have gone the route of the MP3 player - to a great deal of success. I sing horribly off key at the best of times, so with ear buds in, imagine if you would how disturbing I can be. It is a matter of simple revenge - the chicky whose cube is adjacent to mine is very loud on the phone.... she chats to Mom, the daycare workers and anyone walking by. She is an example of how unintentionally disrespectful we can all be.

I've also noticed something else about this type of working environment - permission is granted on the masses. It is currently almost mid afternoon, yet over 90% of the worker bees are still out of the office. It appears that if one does it, it is okay for everyone else to do so as well - I wonder how everyone knows it is time to go back to work?

Oh enough of uninspired work situations - a challenge for the new year will need to be a remedy - I am sure there is a consulting model in there somewhere.

On to more fun and games. Good grooming Hot Cherry Chicks. Yep, once again Janine Falcon of canadianliving.com gives us some good advice. This time on the 17 top mascara's. Hummmm, I'm sure we all could have done with the top five - eliminates the confusion. Just in case you are interested and need to replenish prior to the holidays, here's the link.

On other fronts and back to the work side of life. Here's a funny (well at least interesting) story from a friend this past weekend. This friend in particular is a really big flirt - she's cute, articulate, engaging and has no problem striking up a conversation with anyone. Recently she was bored at work and even though she is in a long term dating relationship, thought she'd check out one of the many online dating sites.

She posts a profile, tells a few lies - 'I'm boring, so I just enhanced a few things' and before you know it, she is chatting with many new acquaintances. All is going well over the course of a few months, she meets a few men, develops online 'friendships' nothing more - harmless right.

Well, this past week she makes preparations for a meeting with a client. She briefly mentions to one of her online chatters, 'I've got to get going and catch this meeting with a client - they sound totally boring, it will likely be a waste of time'. Her online connection agrees, 'aren't they all' and by the way, he too has a client meeting soon that he needs to prep for, they'll chat later on in the day.

Off to meeting she goes, in to the board room she walks with her boss, she looks up about to extend a hand on introductions only to gaze deeply into the eyes of her online romance.

I of course asked her.... and what next???? 'Nothing' she says. 'My career, my life, my professionalism danced before me - I just about fainted!' I guess Buddy was suitably unimpressed and took total insult to her earlier comments. He hasn't spoken to her since.

I also wanted to know what her boss thought of all this and if indeed she told him. 'I couldn't help but tell him, he noticed that I turned a pretty icky shade of green'. And..... 'he laughed and lectured me about online messing around.....'

Moral of this story...... oh I don't have one yet..... there has got to be more to this story and I'm waiting on the second installment. In the meantime, it fits right into the 'oh my gosh.....isn't that funny'.

We know there are many of these stories out there - come on, you all know of them, share with us!
In the meantime, keep your cool in these last days leading up to Christmas - don't let the season get to you.
Have a wonderful Hot Cherry Day!

Accurate weather forecasts and Christmas

How many times have you planned an outing (or an outfit) based on the weather forecast? How many times have you had to pull a last minute change up because instead of sunny and 30, it is now raining and 20? How many times did you pack for snow heading to aunt Jane’s only to get ½ way there and have it change to warm temps and melting snow?

It doesn’t have to be that way – no really. We’ve found a very accurate weather forecast system.

AccuWeather.com Canada is the site for you. We can do one better even. If you choose Firefox as your browser, click this link This takes you to an add on page for Monzilla’s Firefox that allows you to install a weather display on the bottom of your browser.

I’ve been using the AccuWeather browser toolbar for over a year now and love it. Besides being a quick link to the forecasts, it gives me up to date/time on my weather. I have actually looked at the bar as it changes to rain, though that’s silly, the sun is shining so I look out the window…. And yep, it’s raining. Very accurate!

While you are on the Monzilla Firefox page, check out the rest of the add ons. Functionality and userability are simple reasons why Firefox has become the browser of choice for many.

So now that you know what to wear as you head out to finish (or in my case start) Christmas shopping, where to go. Let me tell you a story first, then I’ll pass on some cool finds.

I don’t like gift cards/ gift certificates, normally. There are however exceptions; gifts to Mother in-law’s and kids over the age of 18. My Mother in-laws chooses her own gift, always had, likely always will. She’ll give us a particular item, change her mind several times and then finally say – ‘oh I don’t know’ just get me something. So now, we go out and hunt out the best source for a particular type of gift and pick up a gift card in the denomination that is close to one of the items she likes. She usually ends up with the shoppers card from ‘the home outfitters’ or ‘The Bay’ – heaps of opportunities to change her mind.

My other in-laws are particularly hard to gift – we never know what they can use, what they like, what they’ve bought for themselves in the past few months. For them – well even though we spend an incredible amount of time hunting for just the right gift – it is gift cards for them too. When forced into making a decision as time is running out, we have been known to send gift cards for ‘the home depot’, a personal favorite ‘Canadian Tire’ and then the old stand by ‘the Bay’.

Oh and ‘the Daughter’ – what to get a girl like her. Well, you guessed it – gift cards. We haven’t been able to successfully buy for her for a number of years. We get her the clothes, the electronics the music and everything is always okay. Last year we stumbled on what we thought was a pretty good idea for her – gift cards at a couple of her favorit malls. This way she is not tied to the stores that we like and she gets to really shop.

Anyone who has teenagers, growing into young adults knows what it is like to go to get a hair product or a blow dryer to find it gone. Kids will do that. Take it, use it and forget where it came from in the first place. As a result of having to hunt down ‘my stuff’ in the house, we now make sure our lovely daughter gets a gift card from ‘Shoppers Drug Mart’. I don’t think there is much that one would need (outside of clothing) that Shoppers doesn’t have. A great all around gift.

Now with all this talk about gift cards, you’ll be thinking I have caved in and allowed the commercialization of Christmas take over. I’m here to tell you, no, I haven’t. I can’t fight the in-laws – you go ahead and give it a whirl and we’ll chat afterwards. As for ‘the daughter’ – I did mention that I spend more time searching for ‘my stuff’ than getting ready to actually leave the house, didn’t I? The girl simply can not have enough clothes either and I don’t like to see her leaving for work dressed in rags. (well, she has nice clothes, she just doesn’t put them on – go figure, so we’ll contribute to the nice clothes that she might wear)

I/we NEVER give friends gift cards. That is a no no. Mind you, some of our friends would likely prefer a gift card to some of the crazy gifts I find for them. But then again, what are friends for. I simply believe that gifts to friends need to be unique and I say ‘I thought about what you’d like, saw this, and even though I questioned it myself, thought – heck, it really reminds me of (insert friend’s name) you – so there you go.

I also don’t think gift giving is about the size of the gift or the amount of money spent on it. I believe you give someone a gift to say ‘you are special to me’.

When you are out shopping, please, think about others in that light. Unless you have absolutely no way around it, make gift giving something you want to do, not something that you must do.

Have a wonderful Hot Cherry Day!

You can't do THAT at the office..... or can you?

It should come as no surprise that every now and again, I'm likely to hop online to go surfing. Random searches return some of the most interesting finds.

I'll share some of mine with you....
For no particular reason, I searched 'office politics' - must have been left over frustration for last week - what I found were sites that gave advice, recommended books, counseling.

My first find was hilarious; office-politics.com - here is an excerpt from one of their articles – Ears burning? Your workmates may hate you, by Misty Harris, CanWest News Service-

‘The good news is, most of your workmates enjoy - or, at the very least, tolerate - your company.

The bad news is, nearly a quarter of them hate you so much they may be considering quitting just to avoid speaking with you.

So suggests a new online poll of 2,000 adults, fully 22 per cent of whom confess to despising their colleagues. One-third of respondents say they have, at one point or another, resorted to changing jobs just to escape obnoxious co-workers.

Stapler stealers, users of hip catchphrases and those fond of making "finger pistols" should consider themselves warned.

James, who is based in Toronto, notes that those who try too hard to fit into an environment that does not suit them will likely have their behavior interpreted as “false window-dressing” and will not be accepted by their peers.

Indeed, nearly three-quarters of survey respondents say they regularly gossip about colleagues behind their backs at the office, while 25 per cent conduct their trash-talk at the pub. Even more workers - 33 per cent - don't socialize with colleagues after hours at all.

Others express themselves through technology, with about one in 10 having conducted “sneaky chats” with workmates on instant messaging or e-mail. Not surprisingly, half those people (five per cent of total respondents) have sent an inappropriate message to the wrong person at least once.

“It's so dangerous to gripe via e-mail,” says James. “Never put in writing what you wouldn't say to the person. Of course, some people would say terrible things. So perhaps the better advice is “Never put in writing something slanderous that you might get sued for!”

Keeping quiet about the person signing one's paycheque may be hardest of all. Twenty per cent of respondents named their boss as the chief cause of tension in the workplace, while senior management emerged as the least-liked group in the office.

The 11 most despised office characters:

The Brown Noser (28.6 per cent)
Spends most of the time sitting next to the boss.

The No. 1 (17.7 per cent)
Has always done something better, faster, sooner, cheaper.

The Corporate Speaker (15.3 per cent)
Knows all the lingo to impress, but is usually more mouth than action.

The Blagger (13.5 per cent)
A serial sick-day-taker, showing up to work solely to blind boss with charm and fast-talking. Irritatingly manages to get first in line for promotion.

The Clock Watcher (8.1 per cent)
Arrives on the dot of 9 a.m. and has never been seen in the office past 5 p.m. Takes a full hour for lunch even if really busy.

The Social Secretary (5.7 per cent)
Organizes the office party, whip-rounds, cinema outings and lunches out. Is rarely seen doing any work.

The Letch (3 per cent)
Spends the majority of the time e-mailing women in the office.

The Toilet Weeper (2.6 per cent)
This type spends a lot of time locked in the loo sobbing over a personal crisis.

The Mum (2.3 per cent)
Makes tea, knows where the first aid kit is and always has a hanky handy in case anyone gets upset.

The Dieter (2.1 per cent)
Always trying irritating fad diets - low GI, Atkens, Weightwatchers ...

The Love Flop (one per cent)
Always single, constantly tells colleagues all about new man/women then moans days later when dumped.

As we do when we have an important question about ‘Man’ related stuff, we go to the authority (AskMen.com) when we have a serious question, we go to Wikipedia. Here’s what they have to say about Office Politics:

Office politics is a term for both the productive and counterproductive human factors present between coworkers, in any office environment.

Office politics differs from office gossip in that people participating in office politics do so with the objective of gaining advantage, whereas gossip can be a purely social activity.

Some aspects of Office Politics:

• Social alliances often form between colleagues of similar interests, and they may team up against other perceived competitors.
• Personal factors may divide the groups, often including age, gender, or ethnic background.
• Perceived or real romantic affairs often unbalance relationships.
• Competition for favour between two executives striving for the top may create cliques or teams within the organization.
• Those using office politics are nearly always the same people who deny its workings can be revealed and taught.
• Office politics are involved with information and mis-information. This bears on the formula for power: Information with authority permits the exercise of power.

‘Kicked upstairs’

One of the concepts found in corporate executive office politics is called being "kicked upstairs". This is when a disliked or underperforming executive in charge of some portion of a corporation, is said to have been promoted (and might report then to the person his current boss is reporting to), yet is given only a small amount of responsibility, if any. This may be viewed as either punishment or damage control.

This practice however is controversial because it is seen as too lenient, and a waste of the shareholder's money. Often executives stay within the corporation for years not doing very much work (see the Peter principle), but also they are often finally allowed to have real duties when someone else is disliked or fails. This whole process is very hard to discern from an outsider's, or analyst's standpoint. It is often revealed only later in famous cases in business biographies.

Following the formula information plus authority permits the exercise of power the Kicked upstairs phenomenon can be explained. People with excellent lines of communication tend to be better able to manage the productive use of authority than, for example, very competent people who are loners. Therefore if you have to promote someone it is wiser to promote the person who is well keyed into the organization with many people looking out for them, even if they are less competent, in favor of the highly competent person who does not have a network to protect their interests.

Everyone seems to have answers to the Office Politics question. Which leaves me to believe that everyone must have problems with it. It’s a tough go out there in the work place, us working virtually vagabonds really don’t know how good we have it – or do we.

Now we know there are some pretty interesting Office Politics stories out there – come on now…. Share them with us. (honest, we won’t talk behind your back, snicker or call you names….or will we?)

Have a wonderful Hot Cherry Day!

Be a good girl this holiday season!

I just suffered the rudest of awakenings tonight. The ‘big day’ is two weeks away…..AHHHH. That would be why people are asking, ‘are you ready?’ Of course I’m not, I never am two weeks out. Though I usually have a better grip on the reality of the season and have at least a list prepared. Not this year.

I thought this would therefore be a very good time for all of us to brush up on our ‘holiday etiquette’. Now most of these tips I would expect any Hot Cherry Chick to know and to live by, but, sometimes even the coolest and calmest forget.

Let us start with that old shopping sprit and ‘10 Ways to keep those holiday shopping spirits bright Emily Post style:

1. Smile – You can’t do it enough. Your face (and your soul) will thank you for it.

2. Lose the ‘Bah Humbug!’ attitude. Yes, it will be crowded and there will be lines and it will take time to find a parking spot. Don’t let that dampen the season’s joie de vivre.

3. “Please, Thank You and You’re Welcome.” Make this your mantra and you will smooth the way for better service and create a kinder, gentler atmosphere wherever you go.

4. Be gracious. You have circled the lot for the fifth time when you spy a space, only to see that someone else is already waiting for it. Be gracious - let them have the space.

5. A little patience, please. Checkout counter or airline counter, the rules are the same: first come, first served, one at a time. (This is a great place to practice your smiling.) When it is your turn, be ready with documents or payment to speed things along.

6. Friendliness. Say ‘hello’ to the harried clerk behind the counter (and smile).

7. Complain to the proper person. Yelling at a salesclerk because a store is out of an advertised item only makes you look foolish and rude. If you have a problem, ask to speak to the manager. Frame your complaint clearly and simply. ( No venting, please.)

8. Cell phones: They’re useful when trying to find out your Aunt Mary’s glove size, but turn them off when you are working with a sales clerk or checking out at a register.

9. Shopping with children: Sensory overload is the word of the day: the music, the crowds, the lights, the toys, the Santas! It’s best to arrange to leave your children home. If they must accompany you, or when it is their turn to shop, make sure they are well-rested and fed – kinder to them and to those around them.

Don’t forget the lights—traffic lights that is! Please stop at the red ones and use your turn signals to alert other harried, distracted shoppers to your directional intentions.

Now that we are all set to hit the streets, buy up those gifts and take care of ourselves before the big day. We should be aware of the etiquette of tipping before we are caught, hair in foils wondering with no one to ask.

Once again, it is back to ‘Emily’, Holiday Tipping:

The holiday season is the traditional time to say “thank you” and “I appreciate the work you do” to those who have provided service to you throughout the year. Don’t forget that one of the best ways to express your appreciation is a hand-written note, which should accompany any holiday tip.

Whether and how much to tip varies widely, depending on:

• the quality and frequency of the service
• your relationship with the service provider
• where you live (amounts are usually higher in large cities)
• the frequency of the service or how long you have worked together
• your budget
• regional customs
• the type of establishment: deluxe vs. moderate

If you regularly tip at the time of service, you may forgo or give a more modest holiday tip. Try to include your child in gift decisions for teachers, day care providers, nannies, and babysitters.

Every situation is different, so let common sense, specific circumstances, and holiday spirit be your guides. The tip amounts in this chart are merely guidelines. What to give is always an individual decision.

Au pair	A gift from your family (or one-week’s pay), plus a small gift from your child
Babysitter, regular	One evening’s pay, plus a small gift from your child
Barber	Cost of one haircut, and/or gift
Beauty salon staff	The cost of one salon visit, split among the staff
Child’s teacher	Check your school’s policy first, as gift giving may be prohibited. If allowed, then give a gift that is a token of appreciation from your child, not cash. Possibilities: a homemade gift made by your child, a book or a picture frame. Or, consider participating in a joint gift from the class as a whole. Possibilities: a gift certificate to a restaurant or bookstore.
Day care providers	$25 to $70 each, and/or a small gift from your child for the providers who give direct care to your child(ren)
Dog walker	One week’s pay and/or a gift
Fitness trainer, personal	Up to the cost of one session
Garage attendants	$10 to $30 each
Home health employees	A gift, but check with the agency first, as most agencies have a no gifts or no tips policy. If this is the case, consider giving a donation to the agency.
Housekeeper/cleaner	Up to one week’s pay and/or a gift
Letter carriers	U.S. government regulations permit carriers to accept gifts worth up to $20 per occasion, not cash
Live-in help (Nanny, Housekeeper, Cook, Butler	One week’s to one month’s salary based on tenure and customs in your area, plus a personal gift
Massage therapist	Up to one session’s fee, and/or gift
Newspaper deliverer	$10 to $30
Nurse, private	A gift, not cash
Nursing home employees	A gift, not cash, but check the company policy first. Consider giving a gift that could be enjoyed by or shared among the floor staff: flowers, chocolates or food items.
Package deliverer	A small gift if you receive deliveries regularly; most delivery companies discourage or prohibit cash gifts
Personal caregiver	Up to one week’s salary, and/or a small gift
Pet Groomer	If the same person grooms your pet all year, up to one session’s fee and/or a gift
Pool cleaner	Cost of one cleaning, to be split among crew
Residential building personnel: Check with your building association first to see if there is a holiday fund that is shared among all the building personnel
Superintendent	$20 to $80
Doorman	$15 to $80; $15 or more each, for multiple doormen
Elevator operator	$15 to $40
Handyman	$15 to $40
Trash/recycling collectors	$10 to $30 each (for private service); for municipal service, check local regulations
Yard and garden worker	$20 to $50

Are you feeling a bit overwhelmed? I know I am. In fact, down right frightened. I love my regular service providers (hair, nails, garbage guys, mail lady – even though she is rude and leaves the flag up or down depending how she feels), I’m just not sure I can afford to tip as well as Emily says I should.

What do you think? Is Emily just a wee bit out of touch with reality? I keep thinking about my salon and it would hurt me to split $120 between them. Especially when I see them all every four weeks and tip well.

I’m wishing you all a lovely Hot Cherry Day – share your thoughts with us, how’s your holiday shopping coming along?

Now for a few giggles

Every once in a while, I wander over to AskMen.com and take a look around. I'm on their mailing list too, so there are times when temptation is simply too great. Today was the day.

AskMen made a huge announcment today, it is time for the 2007 Most Desirable Women list to be created. I'll let you read the description.....

'The opposite sex may not believe us when we say it, but we men know that we truly do prize a lot more in our partners than their looks. Yes, there is a place in this world for the gorgeous, shallow, mute tart, but that place is not on our arm - at least not for any extended period of time. The AskMen.com man wants his lady to be the full package - the picture of charisma, intelligence, humor, self-sufficiency, and physical appeal.

Setting the criteria is one matter; finding the woman who fulfills them is another entirely. And therein lay the genesis of our annual Top 99 Most Desirable Women list. Every year since 2001, we've asked you to scan the worlds of music, entertainment and fashion in picking out the female public figure who best represents that ideal woman. In 2006, more than 2 million votes were cast, and Jessica Alba emerged with the crown of Most Desirable Woman. Now, it's time to determine 2007's titleholder. Browse through the nominees in each of three categories, rate each on an ascending scale of 1 to 10, then check back in at the end of January 2007 as we reveal your No. 1 pick.'

Ever wonder what guys are reading? Have you ever considered that maybe they are being coached in some of their idiot ways? You are going to love this one, it is a book recommended by the site who wants it’s readers to justify picking hot women out of lists and then dream about having them, even though they don’t want them…. Yeah, I’m lost too. This will make you giggle though.

Doc Love’s “System”:
For only $99 you can get "The System," which contains invaluable information on:

· Getting the woman to chase you

· Buying signals -- the ways she shows interest

· Asking for her home number and what her answer means

· Screening out takers and users

· How to use your phone and her machine to your advantage

· What date nights to avoid and why

· The first date -- how to set your ground rules non-verbally

· Deciphering Womanese -- her secret language

· Secrets to appearing super confident without bragging

· What she really wants versus what she says she wants

· Handling the most dangerous creature -- The Beautiful Woman

· Discovering her true motives and secret agenda

· Testing her to see if she really likes you

· What to do and look for during the first 60 days

· Finding out if she's worth keeping or dropping

· The one male trait that will make her do anything for you

· Women to avoid and why

· The 3 qualities she must possess for you to stick around

...plus tons more.

Just in case you want to give this little gem to a male friend, here’s the link. Enjoy!

Keeping with the idiocy of AskMen.com an article on Toques. Do you ever wonder where American’s get the notion that we live under a constant blanket of white? Read on…

In a country where three-quarters of the year may be spent knee-deep in snow, a toque is an inescapable part of daily existence. Although south of the border, a toque refers to a particular style of hat, Canadians use this term to refer to all winter headpieces. Though usually quite chilly, the Canadian winter can be quite variable, and it’s therefore best to have more than one toque in your closet since no single hat will be able to get you through this (very long) season stylishly. Fortunately, hats are relatively inexpensive and they are also a quick and easy way to work trends into your wardrobe to liven up your old threads.’

On that note of stupid writing, I’ll leave you to shake your head in privacy! Have a wonderful Cherry Day and don’t forget your shovel, to dig yourself out of knee deep snow!

Suck in the Tummy time of year!

It must be the time of year.... parties, outings, festive dinners and drinks with people you only see at this time of the year. What am I looking at today - how about 'tummy control'.

So, I have this one, really adorable friend. She has simply got the flattest tummy of any women I know. I am always so envious. Never having to worry that she is 'cup caking' or bulging in her jeans. She's not your paper thin, sickly, waif thin thing either - she is however, very fortunate.

I myself haven't entertained even the thought of a flat tummy for years, and years, and years..... I've done the diet thing, the crunches thing, the aerobics thing - still, a tummy haunts me. So tonight as I'm reading and eating at the same time, I see this article on 'magic knickers' - yep, tummy control panties. And here we are, 40 minutes later, me searching the internet for the most fabulous deals in 'tamers'.

Amazon Apparel has 'Spanx Power Panties'. They look silly, go way down your legs and way up your midsection. According the reviews, they are ridiculously tight and the waist band is very uncomfortable. They retail in the $25.00 range. I considered these but then decided if I could not breathe or move in them, they would not be much good to me. Besides, they are just plain ugly!

My search continued. Next I found jeans, with built in tummy control. Good Housekeeping Magazine tested a number of pairs and announced the winner to be 'Slim'R Jeans', priced at $80. Cool, I thought. Until I checked out the picture. Ugly again. Would you wear these creepy looking high waisted, outdate things, even if they swear they will take 2" off you mid section. Personally - no way baby!

Back to my search. Maiden Form offers it's version called 'Flexees Shapewear'. Okay, not so ugly, perhaps a bit more comfortable. Depending on the style, prices range from $12.50 - $30.00. I have a question though - if these products are for women with 'issues' why are all the models paper thin? Not to mention, none of them have any bulges, anywhere!

Now, for the end of end all: 'This unique posture control garment aggressively holds you in the right posture while binding the mid-section and maintaining heat that helps burn fat from its revolutionary outer rubber layer, and inner cotton liner, providing total comfort and firm control.' Yes ladies, we are talking about the amazingly silly looking, bind you 'til you can't breath, let alone move 'rubber' garment designed to help you loose your tummy all together. With the 'Rubber Cotton Posture and Tummy Contol Fat Burner' your worries are over. Take a look for yourself and you tell me... is it all worth it?

Once again, it's been a blast. Have a Hot Cherry Day!

Revenge Is best Served With JuJubes

All sin tends to be addictive, and the terminal point of addiction is what is called Damnation.

~Wystan Hugh Auden~
British Born American Writer

I am sitting here, my mind is buzzing, pupils dilated, my fingers are flying over these keys, I am surrounded by reminders of the binge I've been on for the past 10 hours. I'm alone today, no disturbances, and so I can revel in my drug of choice and nobody will know. I'm ashamed that I'm an addict, but blogging about it is cathartic for me and I have no desire to stop...I never want to stop...until the crash comes.

And there is nothing worse than the sugar crash

Not tequila, not nicotine, not cocaine...ohnoooo....there is nothing worse than the sugar addict coming off a binge. And this was a wicked bender. I visited my favourite dealer today...downtown Ottawa...Elgin St... SugarMountain . Yeahhhh....that's where you can score the good stuff, people. Sugar Mountain may be one of the coolest shops in this fair city. Remember mini Chiclets??? Lik-M-Aid??? Bottle Caps??? Curly Wurlys?? Snowballs??? Black Bart and GoldRush gum??? They have it all. Today I purchased all of those but have spent the better part of this afternoon tripping on PixieStix...nonono..not those sissy wannabe things you can buy at Beckers today...REAL PixieStix...like a foot of straw filled with the most perfect crystalized sugar from the Gods...a solid hit..guaranteed to leave anyone over 30 trembling and checking their glucose levels after.

I try to hit SugarMountain before Christmas every year. My sister is a Flake lover ( he, he ...I just realized how TRUE that really is...) Cadbury Flake I mean. I always stick a few in her Christmas bag every year. This is one of the only spots I know where you can get British goodies like Flakes or Curly Wurlys...anyone remember WigWag bars?? THATS what a Curly Wurly is. The staff is great here..but..you really won't notice them much..the selection will have your memory racing.

Today I met my longtime friend Sandy there. She works downtown and we don't get together as often as we'd like but give her 10 minutes advance notice and she's at the front door with bells on. I think going here with a friend from childhood may be part of the experience. Trip down memory lane etc....

( Snippet of conversation with Sandy at SugarMountain Today )

Sandy: Hey! isn't this the gum that you smooshed in Dave LaFramboise's hair after he dumped you in 8th grade?

Me: shutup

Sandy: Oh Look!!! remember these JellyBellies? I think you were a brunette when these first came out eh?

Me: shutup

Sandy: POPROCKS!!! Remember in University when you thought these would be really cool to use as an ' oral sex aid' and that guy you were with told everyone what a freak you were cause the popping kinda hurt him and his dick was coloured purple for 3 days and...

Me: SHUTUPSHUTUP!!!

maybe it would have been better to go alone.

maybe it's not a good idea to attempt to drown some painful memories with candy and chocolate.

maybe Richard should have shut his big freaking mouth in university...I thought it would be a turn on....wasn't like he was the QuantumScrew of the century or anything...he had the whole ' Flock Of Seagulls' hairstyle going on and he LIKED Wham!!!

bet he was gay

sigh

anyway....SugarMountain isn't only about retro candy..they have some really cool retro lunch pails and gear. They can accommodate corporate orders, make cool gift baskets, and even SEARCH for a candy that you remember from YOUR childhood..hopefully a candy that you didn't try to incorporate into a sexual act only to fail miserably and be laughed at by the entire ' Poets of the 15th Century' class at Ottawa U.....

where are my freaking Garbage Pail Kids??? Neco candy hearts??? DAMNITALL!...

Like I said...the sugar crash is the worst.

There you go Richard!!! This is for you.....

Revenge is Best Served with jujubes.

http://sugarmountain.ca/fun/testimonials.php these are funny! or maybe its my insulin levels raging out of control....naaaaah....these ARE funny.

Oh, just hush up and get the job done!

'Monday, Monday.... so good to me'.... NOT!

Have you ever believed that your day was quickly swirling out of control and you had no way of stopping it? Ah, yes, that kind of day.

I've been dropped into the midst of 'office politics', by the book 'team leading effectiveness' and 'politically correctness' - and I want out. Not out of the position, but off this ineffective, time wasting, energy busting merry-go-round I'm on.

I have the answer to the issues though - companies need to stop trying to please everyone, start making their people accountable and give them project ownership. No more hiding in cubicles, doing as little as possible to avoid causing any waves and having the freedom to voice every little 'concern'.

My apologies if I offend anyone... this time I'm going to do it in advance. A friend and peer of mine has a saying that he vocalizes within his massive 1000+ companies - 'don't ask for permission, beg for forgiveness'. I like his way of looking at things! He says to everyone who works with him... you have ownership of your decisions and I (we) expect you to be empowered to make them. He goes on to say, if you screw up, we are not going to lynch you - at least not the first time.

I believe most companies today are reluctant to empower their employees in this fashion. They are so bent on control that they take all the decision making out of the hands where it should be at. Instead ill informed, out of the picture managers make calls that they simply should not. As a result employees have learned that 'project ownership' and 'accountability' are not requirements for advancement and in fact, the less responsibly one takes on, the more likely they are to be promoted. (Remember the focus is on the trouble making decision makers who stand up and say 'yeah, I did that'. These same people are the ones that take the shit when it hits the fan.... everyone else sits back and looks perfect.) Basically, it sucks and it is a poor way to grow a company.

In the meantime, what can you (and I for that matter) do about it? Well, I think 'we' just keep doing. Face it, there are always going to be good workers and bad workers, shit disturbers and story tellers, there will be those who look to find fault so that they can mask their own shortcomings. There are those who only speak up when the boss comes around. Perhaps by taking ownership and leading by example, 'we' can effect change.

Thankfully for me, this is a contract assignment. A terrific and fascinating opportunity which in a few months will be reduced to something people either applaud or heckle. I'll go back to doing what I thoroughly enjoy, the group I'm with will continue to do as they always have.

If I can have one accomplishment throughout this task, it would be to allow this team to see that there are great rewards in taking ownershiprather than allowing it to pass them by. In the meantime, I'll continue to threaten to poke my eyes out with a fork and keep doing what I've always done.... charge through.

I know you all have work place comments you are dying to share.... come on.... join our discuss on this topic. Honestly, you won't be needing to applogize to me!

Have a wonderful Hot Cherry Day.... smile, smile, smile