I just suffered the rudest of awakenings tonight. The ‘big day’ is two weeks away…..AHHHH. That would be why people are asking, ‘are you ready?’ Of course I’m not, I never am two weeks out. Though I usually have a better grip on the reality of the season and have at least a list prepared. Not this year.
I thought this would therefore be a very good time for all of us to brush up on our ‘holiday etiquette’. Now most of these tips I would expect any Hot Cherry Chick to know and to live by, but, sometimes even the coolest and calmest forget.
Let us start with that old shopping sprit and ‘10 Ways to keep those holiday shopping spirits bright Emily Post style:
1. Smile – You can’t do it enough. Your face (and your soul) will thank you for it.
2. Lose the ‘Bah Humbug!’ attitude. Yes, it will be crowded and there will be lines and it will take time to find a parking spot. Don’t let that dampen the season’s joie de vivre.
3. “Please, Thank You and You’re Welcome.” Make this your mantra and you will smooth the way for better service and create a kinder, gentler atmosphere wherever you go.
4. Be gracious. You have circled the lot for the fifth time when you spy a space, only to see that someone else is already waiting for it. Be gracious - let them have the space.
5. A little patience, please. Checkout counter or airline counter, the rules are the same: first come, first served, one at a time. (This is a great place to practice your smiling.) When it is your turn, be ready with documents or payment to speed things along.
6. Friendliness. Say ‘hello’ to the harried clerk behind the counter (and smile).
7. Complain to the proper person. Yelling at a salesclerk because a store is out of an advertised item only makes you look foolish and rude. If you have a problem, ask to speak to the manager. Frame your complaint clearly and simply. ( No venting, please.)
8. Cell phones: They’re useful when trying to find out your Aunt Mary’s glove size, but turn them off when you are working with a sales clerk or checking out at a register.
9. Shopping with children: Sensory overload is the word of the day: the music, the crowds, the lights, the toys, the Santas! It’s best to arrange to leave your children home. If they must accompany you, or when it is their turn to shop, make sure they are well-rested and fed – kinder to them and to those around them.
Don’t forget the lights—traffic lights that is! Please stop at the red ones and use your turn signals to alert other harried, distracted shoppers to your directional intentions.
Now that we are all set to hit the streets, buy up those gifts and take care of ourselves before the big day. We should be aware of the etiquette of tipping before we are caught, hair in foils wondering with no one to ask.
Once again, it is back to ‘Emily’,
The holiday season is the traditional time to say “thank you” and “I appreciate the work you do” to those who have provided service to you throughout the year. Don’t forget that one of the best ways to express your appreciation is a hand-written note, which should accompany any holiday tip.
Whether and how much to tip varies widely, depending on:
- the quality and frequency of the service
- your relationship with the service provider
- where you live (amounts are usually higher in large cities)
- the frequency of the service or how long you have worked together
- your budget
- regional customs
- the type of establishment: deluxe vs. moderate
If you regularly tip at the time of service, you may forgo or give a more modest holiday tip. Try to include your child in gift decisions for teachers, day care providers, nannies, and babysitters.
Every situation is different, so let common sense, specific circumstances, and holiday spirit be your guides. The tip amounts in this chart are merely guidelines. What to give is always an individual decision.
| Au pair | A gift from your family (or one-week’s pay), plus a small gift from your child |
| Babysitter, regular | One evening’s pay, plus a small gift from your child |
| Barber | Cost of one haircut, and/or gift |
| Beauty salon staff | The cost of one salon visit, split among the staff |
| Child’s teacher | Check your school’s policy first, as gift giving may be prohibited. If allowed, then give a gift that is a token of appreciation from your child, not cash. Possibilities: a homemade gift made by your child, a book or a picture frame. Or, consider participating in a joint gift from the class as a whole. Possibilities: a gift certificate to a restaurant or bookstore. |
| Day care providers | $25 to $70 each, and/or a small gift from your child for the providers who give direct care to your child(ren) |
| Dog walker | One week’s pay and/or a gift |
| Fitness trainer, personal | Up to the cost of one session |
| Garage attendants | $10 to $30 each |
| Home health employees | A gift, but check with the agency first, as most agencies have a no gifts or no tips policy. If this is the case, consider giving a donation to the agency. |
| Housekeeper/cleaner | Up to one week’s pay and/or a gift |
| Letter carriers | |
| Live-in help (Nanny, Housekeeper, Cook, | One week’s to one month’s salary based on tenure and customs in your area, plus a personal gift |
| Massage therapist | Up to one session’s fee, and/or gift |
| Newspaper deliverer | $10 to $30 |
| Nurse, private | A gift, not cash |
| Nursing home employees | A gift, not cash, but check the company policy first. Consider giving a gift that could be enjoyed by or shared among the floor staff: flowers, chocolates or food items. |
| Package deliverer | A small gift if you receive deliveries regularly; most delivery companies discourage or prohibit cash gifts |
| Personal caregiver | Up to one week’s salary, and/or a small gift |
| Pet Groomer | If the same person grooms your pet all year, up to one session’s fee and/or a gift |
| Pool cleaner | Cost of one cleaning, to be split among crew |
| Residential building personnel: Check with your building association first to see if there is a holiday fund that is shared among all the building personnel | |
| Superintendent | $20 to $80 |
| Doorman | $15 to $80; $15 or more each, for multiple doormen |
| Elevator operator | $15 to $40 |
| Handyman | $15 to $40 |
| Trash/recycling collectors | $10 to $30 each (for private service); for municipal service, check local regulations |
| Yard and garden worker | $20 to $50 |
Are you feeling a bit overwhelmed? I know I am. In fact, down right frightened. I
love my regular service providers (hair, nails, garbage guys, mail lady – even though she is rude and leaves the flag up or down depending how she feels), I’m just not sure I can afford to tip as well as Emily says I should.
What do you think? Is Emily just a wee bit out of touch with reality? I keep thinking about my salon and it would hurt me to split $120 between them. Especially when I see them all every four weeks and tip well.
I’m wishing you all a lovely Hot Cherry Day – share your thoughts with us, how’s your holiday shopping coming along?
